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Why Networking Events Are Useless

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I don’t mean to be so blunt, but it’s true! Keith Ferrazzi nails this once again in Never Eat Alone. His words are especially significant given that he is one of the most connected people in the world:

I have a confession to make. I’ve never been to a so-called “networking event” in my life.

If properly organized, these get-togethers in theory could work. Most, however, are for the desperate and uninformed. The average attendees are often unemployed and too quick to pass on their resumes to anyone with a free hand — usually the hand of someone else who is unemployed looking to pass on his resume.

Imagine a congregation of people with nothing in common except joblessness. That’s not exactly a recipe for facilitating close bonds.

The problem with “networking events” is that they are typically based on the “me first” model of networking, which we’ve refuted in the previous posts. If you are networking first of all for what you can get out of people, you’ve blown it. That’s not networking — that’s schmoozing.

Real networkings is first about the value you can bring to others. Certainly, your own needs do matter, and it is right and legitimate to seek help from your network (in fact, it is essential and, when understood rightly, actually another way of helping). The problem is when your own needs become your first priority, when networking is abstracted from mutual interest, and when networking is abstracted from what you have to offer without thought of return.

That’s what’s wrong with most networking events. They are artificial and canned. But when you are interested first in other people for their own sake, then you don’t need networking events. You will naturally encounter people at places of common interest, such as conferences and events, which are the best places to “network” (= meet people!) in the right way.

Should You Make a Rigid Distinction Between Your Personal and Professional Life?

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The answer is no. That’s maybe how things were done in the 1950s, but it’s not how things work in the new economy. Thankfully.

Keith Ferrazzi once again nails this in Never Eat Alone:

Contrary to popular business wisdom, I don’t believe there has to be a rigid line between our private and public lives.

Old-school business views the expression of emotions and compassion as vulnerability; today’s new businesspeople see such attributes as the glue that binds us. When our relationships are stronger, our businesses and careers are more successful.

Elsewhere he adds:

Real connecting insists that you bring the same values to every relationship. As a result, I no longer needed to make a distinction between my career happiness and my life happiness — they were both pieces of me. …

You can’t feel in love with your life if you hate your work; and, more times than not, people don’t love their work because they work with people they don’t like. Connecting with others doubles and triples your opportunities to meet with people that can lead to a new and exciting job.

I think the problem in today’s world isn’t that we have too many people in our lives, it’s that we don’t have enough.

The Real Meaning of Networking

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A few years ago a friend of mine mentioned that he was going to be at an event where he could encounter someone he would really like to meet, but he wasn’t going to introduce himself because it would seem like networking.

There is of course such a thing as the “networking jerk.” This is the guy who is the insincere, ruthlessly ambitions schmooze artist everyone wants to avoid, and you certainly don’t want to become.

However, the unfortunate existence of the networking jerk should not be allowed to give real networking a bad name. My friend is one of the most sincere people I know, and would by no stretch of the imagination be mistaken for the networking jerk. So I encouraged him to reach out to this person. I said to him “but it wouldn’t be networking, really, at least not in the sense you seem to be thinking. Understood rightly, networking is simply about making friends — and doing it sincerely, because people matter, and not because you are trying to get anything out of it other than encouraging someone and recognizing the value of reaching out.”

Keith Ferrazzi nails this in his excellent book Never Eat Alone: “Those who are best at it don’t network — they make friends. …A widening circle of influence is an unintended result, not a calculated aim.” That’s the first rule of real networking.

And the second is this: have something to offer. Be a person who brings benefit, not a leech who sucks people’s time and energy. Ferrazzi nails this again: “Relationships are solidified by trust. Institutions are built on it. You gain trust by asking not what people can do for you, to paraphrase an earlier Kennedy, but what you can do for others. In other words, the currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.”

Understood in this way, “networking” is a very biblical thing to do. It is about helping and being helped. If we care about building up the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33), then we have to care about “networking,” because the kingdom of God is built of people — most of whom we have not yet met.

Get the Kindle Version of What's Best Next for Only $6 Through Tomorrow

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Zondervan has an incredible sale going on right now for the Kindle version of What’s Best Next. It’s only $6 through tomorrow (Sunday).

While you’re at it, I’d suggest getting the hard cover as well. I find that even when I have the Kindle version, some books are best to have in hard copy as well because that makes it easier to interact with them and refer back to them.

I wrote What’s Best Next with the aim that it would be of enduring usefulness to people, and hope that everyone who has picked it up so far has found it to be just that kind of book!

Does What's Best Next Give a Sufficient Theology of Productivity for Women?

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Jen Pollock Michel takes me to task on that over at Christianity Today’s her.meneutics blog, which provides news and analysis from the perspective of evangelical women.

But the thing is: she’s right. And, she’s very gracious. She understands the book, enjoyed it, and found it helpful. The whole review is excellent and I highly commend it to you.

She isn’t saying that the book totally misses it on a woman’s perspective. Not at all. But she points to some important correctives. She argues that the first half of the book, where I give a theology of productivity, is right on. Her point is that when I enter into the second, more practical half, I tend to leave behind issues that are most specifically relevant to women. She summarizes this very well:

The first half of What’s Best Next demonstrates clearly that Matt Perman values all work. “Good works are not simply the rare, special, extraordinary, or super spiritual things we do. Rather, they are anything that we do in faith.” I only wish the second half of the book had made more mention of so-called women’s work. (In fact, upon closer examination of the book, I realize how “male” the book really is, not only in terms of its conception of time and work, but in its consultation. All 12 endorsers are male, and of the 20 books in the recommended reading list, only two are written by women.)

Thank you, Jen. You make very good points, and I appreciate that you pointed this out to me in such a gracious way. This is exactly the type of push-back that helps all of us grow — and we especially need it in areas like this, which is something that honestly was not on my radar at all (which is why I am especially thankful for her critique).

I will do better in the future, and will seek to think about productivity in a more holistic way that doesn’t end up narrowing in on things in such a way that areas that are especially important to a woman’s perspective are left out. And, I agree that it would have been better if more of the books I recommended and interacted with had been by women. I will try to broaden my perspective there as well.

This also raises a larger issue. I do think that women have traditionally been under-represented in Christian writing and leadership. And I think that, as men, we share significant responsibility for that because of being too narrowly focused on ourselves and own perspectives. I actually do try to do something about that (though I could do better); I make a special effort to learn when women speak up in the church, not out of some strange affirmative action thinking but because I consistently find it helpful. Everyone is better off when both men and women are encouraged to make all the contributions they are capable of.

The good news is that things are changing. Some of the most helpful and engaging books on leadership and the Christian life right now are more and more being written by women. As a few examples on the Christian life and productivity side, let me commend to you Jen’s own upcoming book Teach Us to Want: Longing, Ambition, and the Life of Faith, which looks fantastic and much-needed; Gloria Furman’s new book Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms; Aimee Bird’s recent Housewife Theologian: How the Gospel Transforms the Ordinary; Melissa McDonald’s excellent blog The Cross and the Kitchen Sink, with its great tagline “because the cross changes everything but including the kitchen sink”; and, of course, Christianity Today’s her.meneutics blog where you can find more of Jen’s writings along with contributions from many other excellent writers looking at faith and news from the perspective of evangelical women.

And specifically on the leadership side, Jenni Catron is one of the best thinkers on leadership in the church right now, and I highly commend her new book Clout: Unleash Your God-Given Potential, with a foreword by Patrick Lencioni, one of the greatest management thinkers of our day.

So women are making an incredible contribution in the church today to Christian thought. That is an excellent thing that we need to celebrate. And Jen’s review of What’s Best Next shows how someone like me still needs to grow in this, and how easy it is to not even realize how often we unconsciously overlook the need to, as Jen puts it in her post, “understand a women’s perspective in the time management conversation” — or whatever else we are writing on.

So, thanks again, Jen, for your review.

Read the whole thing.

 

Why What's Best Next is Relevant to Scholars and Students

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Here is an absolutely fantastic and helpful review of What’s Best Next by David Leonard, assistant professor of philosophy and apologetics at Luther Rice University.

David first nails the essence of the book in the opening paragraph: how productivity is about putting the needs of others first. This is not something we often think of when we think of productivity, but it is both biblical and the way to become most productive and make the highest impact.

Then he gets into the specific angle of the review: how What’s Best Next is applicable to scholars and students. He relates it to Andreas Köstenberger’s incredible book Excellence: The Character of God and the Pursuit of Scholarly Virtue, writing:

Whereas Andreas Köstenberger, for example, has challenged scholars to pursue their work with excellence, in terms of demonstrating boldness amidst the pressures of “academic respectability” and displaying integrity in their scholarly activities, Perman highlights for readers the practical steps that might be taken to clear the way for such excellence to be achieved.

To put it differently, if an excellence is roughly identical to a virtue, then it seems the aim of What’s Best Next is to enable Christians to be virtuous stewards of their time and resources, a theme which overlaps nicely with Köstenberger’s emphasis.  Christian scholars, no doubt, would do well to reflect on these connections.

This connection to Kostenberger’s book is right on. Kostenberger shows the importance of excellence; What’s Best Next gives some practical steps for making excellence happen in every area of life. And, as Leonard shows, this has great application for scholars and students, as well as those in the marketplace, leading churches, leading non-profits, and leading in their communities.

Leonard’s review also interacts with some of the most unique parts of the book as well, such as how allowing people to surf the internet for fun at work makes people more productive, not less.

Read the whole thing.

Values Should be the Ultimate Criteria for What Career You Pursue

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How do you choose a career path? You shouldn’t decide it first based on what you are good at. You should decide based on what matches your values (assuming, of course, that your values are in line with correct principles). Sometimes, you may find yourself doing something you are good at but which doesn’t fit with your values. In that case, get off that path.

Peter Drucker nails this, with an excellent example, in his classic article “Managing Oneself“:

What one does well — even very well and successfully — may not fit with one’s value system. In that case, the work may not appear to be worth devoting one’s life to (or even a substantial portion thereof).

If I may, allow me to interject a personal note. Many years ago, I too had to decide between my values and what I was doing successfully. I was doing very well as a young investment banker in London in the mid-1930’s, and the work clearly fit my strengths. Yet I did not see myself making a contribution as an asset manager. People, I realized, were what I valued, and I saw no point in being the richest man in the cemetery.

I had no money and no other job prospects.

Despite the continuing Depression, I quit–and it was the right thing to do. Values, in other words, are and should be the ultimate test.

And, note this as well on how knowing your values (and having them right) can be even more fundamental to success than hard work:

Successful careers are not planned.

They develop when people are prepared for opportunities because they know their strengths, their method of work, and their values. Knowing where one belongs can transform an ordinary person — hardworking and competent but otherwise mediocre — into an outstanding performer.

What's Best Next Seminar in Ames Iowa

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If you live in or around central Iowa, you are invited to a workshop I’m doing on What’s Best Next on Saturday morning, April 26, from 9:00 – noon.

I’ll cover things like these:

  • What is productivity really, and why should we care about it? And how does our work connect to God’s purposes?
  • The DARE process for getting the right things done, in all areas of life.
  • Very tactical processes for staying on top of email, planning your week, delegating, and going about your day in a way that is not annoying or overwhelming.

The seminar will be at Zeke’s, at 3329 Lincoln Way, Ames, IA 50014. You can learn more about it and register here.

It would be great to see you there!

The Traditional View of Productivity vs. Gospel-Driven Productivity

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Traditional View (TV): Do more in less time.
Gospel-Driven Productivity (GDP): Do the right things, and you can care a lot less about efficiency.

TV: Use the right techniques.
GDP: Be the right kind of person. Then, use smart techniques.

TV: Seek peace of mind and fulfillment.
GDP: Seek to do good for others first, and make a contribution. Peace and fulfillment will follow (and so will suffering!—but of a different kind).

TV: Minimize work and maximize money.
GDP: Do hard things and find joy in your work as a fulfillment of your calling. Maximize meaning, not money.

TGC's Review of What's Best Next

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Hugh Whelchel, executive director of The Institute for Faith, Work, and Economics, has done a great review of What’s Best Next for TGC.

It is a fantastic review with a superb summary of the book. And here’s something especially unique about Hugh’s review: he comments on the final section of the book, where I show how personal productivity connects to the productivity of our organizations and society, and therefore why it is important for us as Christians to understand economics.

That’s a very important section of the book to me. I almost had to cut it out due to length, in fact, but insisted that we keep it (though I still and to cut that section in half). I also show how a concern for the productivity and well being of all of society is not just a modern idea, but is clearly and significantly expressed by even the great 18th-century theologian Jonathan Edwards.

Read Hugh’s whole review of What’s Best Next to see a bit more on the connections between Christian love and a concern for economics.